Wednesday, May 30, 2007


Decision


I know, I know, I said that I'd give it time. That I'd see how my results looked after several more months. But I've made up my mind. In 8 months time, I'm going to turn pro.

Obviously I have been mulling over playing poker for a living for a while now, but I reached my decision while away on holiday. I had just finished work on a typical stressful note before packing for Malta, and it hit me that right now I have a chance, maybe a once-in-a-lifetime chance, to do something I really enjoy for a living. I simply don't like what I do now, and though it would afford me a fairly comfortable life and good long term security, I couldn't live with not taking my chance at something I'm passionate about, and feel I have the capability to excel at. Maybe I don't have what it takes to play winning poker at 25/50. Maybe I won't ever make a big score in a tournament. But I want to find out for myself, and I'm very confident that I can perform well enough to support myself now and in the future with the skills that I already possess.

I won't be running round telling all my friends just yet, because my results may plummet, my thinking might change, or (gulp) the UK government could decide they want to copy the US and ban online gambling. So I'm going to wait 5 more months and build up the bankroll during which time I can always change my mind, and then hand in my notice and see what I'm really made of. If I can continue to make $100+/ph on average at $2-$4 I will have no doubts as to my making the correct move financially.

On top of this, as mentioned I will continue with all my other hobbies, plus I can try doing a bit more acting, and if anything good comes from that then that will just be icing on the cake. If you are good at poker, the bottom line is it lets you do what you want. And I want to see where it takes me.

Start the countdown.....

Thursday, May 10, 2007


Goals for a new age


My birthday has just passed and I'm suddenly realising just how close to 30 I truly am. I haven't ever really been one for long-term plans, so far my route through life has been conforming easily to that expected of a fairly academic (if somewhat rebellious) young man: attend college, get a part-time job, go to university, experience studying alongside drinking, drugs and women, then get a full-time job and start to consider a career. This may sound silly but I never thought I’d actually find myself in the position of being a full time employee in a London-based IT office, in spite of it being quite an obvious destination for someone who graduated from a London university with a BSc in Computer Science.
I always thought I’d end up doing something far more exciting with my life. Maybe that was never anything more than a pipe dream, but nonetheless I had hoped it would somehow become real. I can’t quite say what it was I
thought I’d find myself doing, but I always felt (however arrogantly) that I would be doing something extra-ordinary. And now it’s sinking in that such a lifestyle isn’t looking too likely. So what then are my options?

1) Get really involved in my office work, put in long hours or diligent study, climb the corporate ladder and be a successful businessman. This is within my reach, but for one small problem: my work doesn’t excite me. Without this excitement, I lack the incentive to put in the hard work.
2) Find a job that is satisfying and interesting, yet doesn’t take up all of my time. This is obviously the dream, and for 99% of people remains as nothing more than that. Not sure that I am that lucky, though of course by trying lots I could have a chance at being in the minority. Have considered just doing charity work overseas, as I’d like to make a real difference to people with my life, but I’m not sure I’m skilled enough at anything to actually achieve that.
3) Do bits and pieces. Pursue acting, poker, teaching kungfu, and take up other hobbies like free-running to add to climbing, blading, biking and surfing. This would obviously be fun, but I’m not sure it would work out long term, as even if the poker proved successful and afforded a very easy lifestyle, it would ultimately be one without the security of expected financial measures like a pension and steady income.

So, as I’m only 3 years into my office job ‘career’, I will wait a little longer and see what happens over the coming 9 months. In that time I hope I’ll gain a good understanding of where I stand with my girlfriend, my job, my poker ability and my personal desires for what I want from life, and hopefully all of this will enable a much easier decision.

Just looked at all of that and it’s a hell of a brain dump, but it’s good to take a step back once in a while and get some perspective. Think that’s good advice for all life’s pursuits….